Do you know what the main problem in being a younger sister is? It is the loneliness they have to suffer after the marriage of their elder ones. Only girls who have elder sister know what it is like to live without her when she gets married. Marriages make a person closer to her partner and slightly away from her sister. The love, bond and affection shared between them are now shared with the husband also. Now I’m going through this phase. I am missing her badly. It’s just not missing but our intimacy tends to dwindle and this feeling is really hurting.
The bond that sisters share is something different from all other relationships.
It is not that divine or pure but crazy funny, and a lovely. There is more friendship than sistership..more brotherhood..more motherhood.. Like every sisters, we also fight like crazy. It was used to be a bubbly chirpy and fully energetic house. Today it was not the same house. It seems quite. Life is never the same for me after my sister’s marriage. Suddenly the spirit seems diminished and I feel kinda lonely in the house as she was my only sibling. It’s not just a big life change for her but for me as well. I felt like life’s too cruel maybe because of her sudden departure doesn’t fit in the picture I’ve been seeing since childhood. But I think I’ll get used to the void.
Talking about my sister, I must say she is the most annoying person in the world. She is my best friend since birth. She has been there since day one and I hope she will be there till end. As much as we love we can fight a lot. We fight on the topic from a mere TV remote to U.S president Donald Trump. We still find ourselves fighting about at 25. No matter how weird and twisted and awkward our fights become, I can never stay mad at her or hold a grudge against her. I’m admitting it… fighting with sister is fun sometimes! And weirdest of all, I actually miss this bit. From who gets to use the bathroom first to who is mom more partial towards, these bitter sweet-arguments only happen with our sisters. I used to share every moment in my life, all girly issues, eventhough she gets bored hearing it. She scolds me for messing up her room. Now I conquered her room after her marriage. But I am not interested in messing up it anymore, I leave it spick and span. Because now it’s a room full of million memories.. Catching up at night about how our day went, late night gossips and so on. I felt very strange staying in our room without you at the initial days after your marriage.
Her marriage was not only a big day for her but for me too.. The entire house especially me being the younger sister got busy with the wedding preparations because I needed to shoulder certain responsibilities as her best friend, best guide and everything apart; my sister was getting married. I had took the responsibility of arrangements for her wedding, and at times broke into tears or get over excited or sense some irritation. My excitement, delightedness and cheerfulness sometimes come out in form of tears and it speak for the amount of happiness, my emotional attachment with her.. That feeling sister going away from you, the weakening of that robust bond that you two use to share and living a life without her can burst you into tears. (Experience speaks). I took some responsibility of invitation, dresses for relatives’ etc.to help my dad who is overstressed at that time and I handled it maturely with a view to reach perfection. This feeling had put stress on my mind as I needed everything perfect. Also at times I had to hear dad’s scolds for improper managements. Being the manager of marriage functions, I totally entitled to the credit and praises showered by our guests upon organizing a wonderful function with dedicated authority. Putting hard efforts in making a marriage function successful brought me a sense of accomplishment. I feel proud of myself. The worst part I found in sister’s marriage was the bombardment with the comment- “it’s your number next”, from all your relatives at the wedding. And I hate my fellow relatives to the core for that comment which puts me in embarrassing and irritating situation. (And, once your parents hear this, they starts getting marriage proposals for you the very next day of the wedding from around the globe. Even though you might not be ready to get married
Today whenever she visits here, mom and dad treat her as a guest with all special treatments and formalities. It’s our home and how and when does she became a guest here. “Don’t talk to her like that in front of her husband. She’s married now. You can’t fight with her like that. What will her husband say? “These kinds of statements constantly were echoing in my house after her marriage. Mom expects me to ‘behave’ yourself in front of the new person.. Suddenly she has become a new person. Sometimes I feel like intruding or a ‘katturumb’ Also, I feel it’s best to not say a word or come across as controversial. There are moments when I realize being careful while talking is the best thing I can do. No matter how cool my sister’s hus is, it takes a long time to mix with them. I saw my sister less as she spent more time with her hubby and in-laws. We never hung out alone. And we hardly ever spoke to each other anymore, which felt jarring because we were best friends and had lived together for most of our adult lives. Everything about her seemed to change: her speech, her dress, her friendship group and her interests. We had less and less in common and I felt powerless as we drifted apart. Being part of a close-knit family, having my sister torn from our group and adopted by another family was strange. Rarely seeing her was stranger. But instinctively, I knew to shut up about it when I was around her. She was happy, which was what mattered, and I didn’t want that to change. And what if telling her how I truly felt only widened the growing gap between us? Whenever I tried to put forward this topic like many difficult situations we had between, she is dropping that subject and moving on. Relationships aren’t replaceable because they’re all different. You need partners, siblings and best friends for different reasons; lots of people comprise a person’s world and it’s unhealthy to be possessive or clingy. Over time, more things in my sister’s life will change. There will be more anniversaries, and moves, and even children. But despite all those changes, we’ll still be sisters. We’ll still communicate using only a glance or laugh, and we’ll still share idiosyncrasies and jokes that nobody else understands. She’ll always be there and love me unconditionally (I hope) and vice versa. And our dad and mom still confuse us on the phone sometimes. Those are the things that will never change.
Keeping the sad feelings aside, one advantage of her marriage was I got the entire room for myself. And not to forget, the tons of clothes, shoes and accessories, which she left behind. Well, a bigger wardrobe is definitely a cool thing to have to fit all that extra stuff, right? No more fight on the wardrobe and bed boundary invasion.
Today I remember all those times when I did something wrong, and she covered up for me in front of parents. After that she used to blackmail me on that topic and I obeyed all her orders like cleaning, passing the remote, bringing water for her and all. Well, now she is there not anymore to do that. Now dressing up for an occasion just doesn’t feel the same. Before trying out 10 different outfits we did discussions on what to wear and annoying each other for a nod of approval. We would never step out of the house unless we approved of our dress and overall look each other! And while I helped her with the eye makeup, she’d make sure my hair bun looks just fine. We used to try various new beauty home remedies. We’d both read up and whip up some amazing new hair style or beauty sessions. Our night sessions were another memory. From stalking our not-so-nice cousins, relatives and neighbors on Facebook, to discussing your common friend’s love story – and our gossiping never stops. Just lying in bed with the lights switched off and having that chat session as we both drift off to sleep… Talks about our common celebrity crush, discussions on our favorite daily soap, fight on favorite things that dad bought for us and who gets more chocolates and even for who got more genes, who is more likely to mom, laughing forever at nothing in particular, the way you rush me and make me tensed when I need to go somewhere, teasing mom and dad.. I’m missing all these SOO much.
Someone very rightly said that relationships change with situations. Some things change for the better, some for the worse and some because they are meant to change. It’s bound to happen. Today she has another person to look after and “Sister Time” takes back seat. She has more important things to do like managing her professional life, marriage; house, household chores and other stuff. Her laptops, phones are not solely mine anymore. There is the ‘spouse’ in the queue, and he is probably before me (The Harsh Reality) I can’t boss over her any more. She has another person in her life who’s supposed to take care of her, and even though I’m irreplaceable. And I understand that for her it is probably really tough to strike a balance between old and new relationships. If I didn’t understand this then who else would do that?
If there were any life lesson I feel I could teach anyone, it would be to never take for granted the bond between sisters. Boys will come and go and friends will come and go but sisters will always be there. It sounds obvious, but it is a simple secret of life that shouldn’t be dismissed. For every giggles and tears, smiles and frowns, everything from dead serious to goofing around, life’s ups and downs, tornados and twisters we were there and we will be there for each other at any time. I know your marriage had taken you to far off place but never expect me to stop calling. And although life might take us in different directions, you will be in your heart always and you need to keep me in your heart also. Sorry if I sounds selfish. Even after my marriage or in our old age, our fights and our special “sister time” aren’t forbidden because these can NEVER STOP!!!!